Manna Mercies

"The LORD's loving kindnesses indeed never cease,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great is your faithfulness."

The downside of believing that everything I need comes from the Lord is that it means that I am dependent on him. Frustratingly dependent on him. I-can't-do-anything-to-get-him-to-do-things-my-way dependent on him. He won't be manipulated by my self-pity or my selfish pleading. He is completely free to give lavishly...or not to give until his time.

That creates anxiety in me. Or, better yet, it draws out the anxiety in me that comes from how I really believe who my Father is. For some reason, I feel like my Father will hold back or, worse yet, he is disinterested.

I know the right answers because I have read the books, but the right answers don't always overcome the real feelings.

So, sitting on the floor in my bedroom right now, I meditate on who I believe my Father to be in the hidden places of my soul and I chew on who he has revealed himself to be in His Son and in His Word.

To a hard hearted and complaining people he gave manna. Only good for one day. Rotten on the second. Everyday was a reminder that those people were completely dependent on their Giver for their food. They were anxious to hoard, but they were made to trust that the Father would come through. Day by day. They had to deal with the heart question: "Will he be faithful today?"

Fast forward to another time when God's people doubted him. Things were not going their way. In fact, everything that God had promised seemed to be coming untrue. They were losing everything they had put their hope in. Control of their life was being stripped out of their hands with violence.

In the midst of the lamenting and pain, the Lord reminded Jeremiah that his love and his compassion NEVER FAIL. In fact, like the manna, they are new every morning. New every morning.

On days like today when I wake up and believe that I have to beg my Father to be good today, he is faithfully and lovingly asking me to be still, cease striving, and trusting his great faithfulness.

He is simply reminding me that he is going to be good today in a new way. Yesterday's grace is spent. Tomorrow's grace isn't here yet. I raise my eyes up and look towards the manna mercies that he will give today. Those mercies will be lavished on us, but they will be today's mercies. Only for today.

He will be faithful for tomorrow.