The Promiser and Mr. Taylor

We have a hard time believing promises until they are kept because we have we have seen them broken too many times. In that way, we think promises aren't are to be broken, but they can be broken as simply as they are made.

Promises do not seem to be worth basing our lives on.

I just finished reading Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret for the 5th or 6th time. My uncle gave it to me to read around 20 years ago but I was much too young and much too fearful to understand the message. I was too immature to "get" the missionary's life and the joys and agonies that came with his gift of faith in a Faithful God.

Mr. Taylor's story didn't resonate with me until I needed to hear it. It isn't that I have grown "older" or "more mature" necessarily, just more desperate.

That's where I am again. Needing someone to constantly remind me with his life that I can trust the promises of the Father. Slow hearted as I am so often, I need someone around that says "see, I told you our Father could be trusted!" Many times that is my wife or a good friend, but this time it was a man long gone Home whose life reminds me that the world of radical, deep [read: normal] trust is the REAL world in Gods kingdom.

Oh, how much the Father would do if we would give him room by giving up fear that leads to small heartedness?! Fear begets more fear, but one act of restful faith in Gods promises dissipates fear and opens our eyes (even if too slowly) to a world where we are free to risk big things that would show how faithful the Father really is. What a big world that is!

Promises, though, are not all sweet and milk toasty. Many seem to inspire deeper fear ("the world will hate you" "I will show him how much he must suffer for my name"), but that isn't a new fear. It's the same old fear that was only awakened when it was heard.

But even in that, the Father beckons us to draw near to him with a faith the people entrenched in the thinking of this world would call foolish and reckless. Those who live the faith of Jesus and who feast on his promises see that the World is an illusion set up by the workers of darkness to draw our attention away from the Jesus who can master the elements of nature by walking on water and fearfully fix our gaze on the wind and the waves.

So, in finishing this book, I am sad to miss out on meeting with my deceased mentor in the life of Christ. So many times the Lord has used Mr. Taylor's story to remind me that He is in our story... at just the right time. I guess now it is time to live what I have been taught.

More than anything, though, I long to know that breaking promises is not in God's character. If that is true, then I can bet my life and everything I care about on them.

Father, show your faithfulness by giving us a heart-felt faith in who you say you are. Make your words more real to us than the narrative spoken to us by the world. May we not depend on faithless, worldly means to live out the lives you have given us. For your names sake, show your strength in our weakness. May your Word by our deepest encouragement and may praying in fellowship with you be the place where we depend on you and know you are coming through. Proclaim your faithfulness to your promises and your character in our lives so that everyone around us will know you are alive and that you for us because of Jesus.

In Jesus' name, for his sake in the hearts of all around us (including us)

Our Unchanging King

The wind was changing and now it has changed.

For some reason over the last 2-3 weeks I haven't been able to sit down and read my Bible. Its isn't for lack of desire, but a lack of concentration. The words get all jumbled together and I can't make sense of them.

So, I have started to listen to scripture in the mornings. My bible app on my phone has a option to stream a golden-voiced man read the Word of God to me. (I don't think it is live. I think it was prerecorded :) This morning my New Testament reading was John 19. 

Then Pilate took Jesus and flogged him. And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head and arrayed him in a purple robe. They came up to him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” and struck him with their hands. Pilate went out again and said to them, “See, I am bringing him out to you that you may know that I find no guilt in him.” So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!” When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, “Crucify him, crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no guilt in him.”
(John 19:1-6 ESV)

It goes on, of course. There is irony in this: the King of the Universe is being mocked by those who do not understand him...but they are telling the truth about him while they mock him! They call him "king" in jest, but in reality they are saying something profound about him: he deserves a crown and he proudly (though painfully) wears it.

He deserves a crown of laurel or of gold, but he willingly wears the thorned crown.

Jesus the king stood quietly among the powers of a world antagonistic toward him while the people he came to save stood outside and jeered him. Yet, because of the depth of his character, his love and his mission were unaffected, unchanged.

There are two things that stand out to me today:

• Jesus trusted himself to his Father in such a way that the entire world could be against him, not getting angry nor impatient nor fearful. He still walked the path of love and set his heart on a mission that was not only unhindered by the political power of the day, but encouraged by it.
• Jesus still loved his neighbors who were gloating over his "loss" in the highest court (Pilate's) in their land. They saw him as the enemy of all that they held dear to them. He saw them with compassion.

The same King who had the character of heart to absorb the pain of all of our foolishness and the harm we cause to one another is the same king who is ruling over all aspects of the universe. He is a different kind of king than we expect and the only one we really need... and he does not change.

And today, he is still not impatient or fearful. I don't have to be either.

So Jesus also suffered outside the gate in order to sanctify the people through his own blood. Therefore let us go to him outside the camp and bear the reproach he endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.
(Hebrews 13:12-14 ESV)

Why should the nations say, “Where is their God?” Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.

(Psalm 115:2-3 ESV)

Thoughts over Breakfast

This morning is chilly, but the heat from the charcoal fire warms us while we wait for the sun to greet us. The long night of working has spilled over and I feel the ache. It seems my clothes will always be damp. What else am I supposed to do, though?

I though it was all over, that he was gone for good to a place that I couldn't follow. Don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed that he came back, but what am I supposed to do? I will just go back to work and do what I know to do. It feels good to work with my hands and see immediate gratification of an immediate response. Though I am weary, the work feels good.

But, even work seems different now that he is here. It is not...I don't know..."enough." The fire is attracting, warm, welcoming, but I do not want to merely sit. That doesn't feel like enough either.

He made breakfast, though. He made us breakfast! It doesn't seem right.

Sitting here enjoying a filing meal after a long night I am both at rest and, at the same time, wanting to move. (If I get up and go will he leave?) It seems like my world has changed and I don't fit in it anymore.

Stirring the fire as he cooks, we talk. We sit in the silence of the dawn, contemplating the newness of the day. This feels like a home I always longed for but never understood. Hope energizes me even in the most mundane of his words, but only through hearing more than what is comfortable. But, that is nothing new.

Oh, for more meals like this one!

Then, he looks at me with a fierceness and tenderness that I cannot run from. I have seen this look before.  He is a master at this. What is he about to say? Whatever it is I probably can't handle it. he always asks for more than I have, but in a strange way I welcome it. When he asks a question it always reorients my world.

“Simon, son of John, do you love me...?"

His words reorient the whole world.

Patient Vision or Anxious Action

"It will cost something to walk slow in the parade of ages, while excited men of time rush about confusing motion with progress. But it will pay in the long run, and the true Christian is not much interested in anything short of that." A.W. Tozer

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! (Psalm 37:7 ESV)

Common Sense and Worldliness

That won't help much Mr. Lemming.

Maybe we could define "Common Sense" as the sense that everyone has but hardly anyone uses.

That is the internet joke anyway. If you googlize the words "common sense" you will find a lot of Thomas Paine quotes and also the meme that says "Common sense: so rare it is a superpower." (I got a laugh out of that.)

What is funny about that is that everyone at some point looks at another person doing something crazy and wonders "Don't they know better? They should know better!" Then the part we may not say out loud: "I know better." I saw a guy walk up the street yesterday, dressed up in full costume as a comic book character. As the guy at the table next to me and I joked about how our neighborhood is now a much safer place (from ninjas and invisible pirates), I watched the guy walk down the street and thought "I know better. He should too."

Common sense right?

There is a common sense in this world. There is a sense that everyone has AND that everyone uses. All of the time...and it may be the predominant religion in the world.

I was too afraid to drink this because mountain goats were upstream.

Hiking affords some elegant views of the origin of mountain streams. As I type, water is furiously rushing down the slopes of Mt. Rainier from an ice source at the top of the mountain. Because the ice is pure (for the most part) the stream is pure (for the most part). One thing is true, the water flowing down the mountain will never be more pure than the ice melting at the top.

The source of common sense (don't hate me for saying this) is sin. Now, I am sure that objections come to mind immediately. I have some too, but the reality is that what is most common among people in this world is a sin nature. Even the very best intentions we might have to do the very best things we can think of are born from a sin nature. Come by my place and listen to someone talk about saving the world through recycling or irradicating homelessness (both good things) and, if we lean in to really listen, we can hear the pride of self-righteousness subtly welling up and spilling out of his (my) words.

Let me illustrate it another way. What if some random guy came up to you on the street and said "If you want to learn from me and be like me, you need to die to your deepest desires and come follow me around?" If he was dressed up like a comic book hero we might laugh and then walk on. Most likely, we would be creeped out and then go blog about the insane man we met outside the place we get our morning coffee. What a loon, right?

There are a lot of reasons why we wouldn't take him seriously, but the greatest of these is that what he said goes against our common sense. Our common sense tells us to seek what we think will give us the greatest happiness at the least amount of cost.

Here are other ideas that push back on our common sense:

• Seek to see others as more important than ourselves...and act that way.
• Our greatest joy will only be found in surrendering our deepest desires.
• Move away from safety and security of family and friends to a country where people will reject you because of Who you want them to know.
• Lay up treasures where Jesus is...and, more importantly, treasure Jesus more than the treasures. 
• Live a life that will make sense in 100 million years even if it doesn't seem to today.

So, I am not saying that we need to reject EVERYTHING we know and try to rethink whether it is good to stop at a red light or not. Please, stop at red lights and don't wear Deadpool costumes around the neighborhood.

Stopping is a Good Thing

What I am saying is that maybe we hold on tightly to some things we call "common sense" because we treasure the sin behind the ideas. Maybe we hold on the concepts with a death drip because we cannot believe that what God has said is actual better, more pleasing, than how "the World" has discipled us to this point. Maybe, someone is like me and afraid to pay too much attention.

What we often call "common sense," the Bible often calls "worldliness." All I know right now is that everything that is from God requires that I trust Him with all my heart.

Spirit, please help us discern the difference.

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. (Matthew 7:13-14 ESV)

The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual person judges all things, but is himself to be judged by no one. “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:14-16 ESV)

"The Kingdom of Heaven is Like.."

The undercurrent of our desires. The longings we own but have a hard time articulating. Seeing a lonely, elderly man who quietly waits for the end of his days in pain. A parentless child begging for money being beaten up by the man who was hiding in the shadows waiting for someone to be generous to the boy. The owner of two summer homes and too many cars complaining bitterly about a meaningless life.

Somehow we know that there is something more. Something is not right. If we desire greener grass, the grass has to be greener somewhere, right?

A friend of mine reminded me today that the gospel ("good news") is news of a better world. The gospel is not merely sharing facts about Jesus, but sharing the fact that Jesus wants to make everything right again...make it like his heart's desire.

The kingdom is good, pleasing and perfect because it is defined by its king.

I need a bigger vision than "starting a church." We need a vision of the way that Jesus wants to transform his world, and especially the people in it.

And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place. And the people sought him and came to him, and would have kept him from leaving them, but he said to them, “I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose.” [emphasis mine] (Luke 4:42-43 ESV)

Always Bigger

My imagination must have a leak and I don't think I am the only one who has that problem.

Our neighborhood is draped over two of the highest hills in the city which means that, on a clear day, I can see a LONG way into the distance. Most importantly, looking southeast, Mt. Rainier is in our direct line of sight. Always drawing our attention, we can overlook the Seattle skyline and the expanse of the Puget Sound for the mammoth mountain that seems to quietly hover on the horizon, acting like a giant overseer of the city.

Because my imagination leaks, as soon as I close my eyes or turn my back, I forget just how big it is. The next time I turn around to look, it is bigger than I remembered.

Out walking with Adrienne one night last week, we came over a ridge and got a clear view of The Mountain as the oranges and pinks of the setting sun reflected off of it. Amazing. Even from around 100 miles away we were amazed at its immensity and the detail we could make out in that light. One of the two of us said to the other (my memory leaks so I don't remember who said what), "That never gets old." We both marveled, not just at the fact that gazing upon that expression of God's beauty never gets old, but that we have an insatiable hunger for it.

My imagination leaks, but we were made to hold it all in. We were made to soak in the memory of every detail of the glory of God he reveals to us. For me, all I have to do is turn my back for a moment and I will forget what I just saw, but there will be a day when my leak is healed and I will grow bigger in treasuring the glory of God. The more I will see of Him, the "bigger" I will get. The bigger I get, the more I will be able to hold in.

But, ultimately, this picture isn't about how much bigger I will get. 

The joy that we had in being reminded how big Rainier is is the joy of remembering again. When we see Jesus face to face, there will be a deep, resonant joy in knowing him in a new way every time we look on him. In his presence our imaginations won't leak The bigger the picture of his glory we hold in, the more capable we will be to hold in more.

We will get to see Jesus for everything he is and realize he is always bigger than we thought he was. The joy of heaven will be to gaze upon his beauty and, not only never grow bored, but always grow more hungry to know him...always know there is a depth of himself that he will gladly share with us for our joy. We will drink deeply of his glory and find that we are not only satisfied, but that every drink is as pleasurable as the first- or more so.

Our God will always be bigger to us. We will always be surprised. We will always want to go, as C.S. Lewis put it, "Further up and further in." 

God help us to see you like that now...and not leak!

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11 ESV)

A Surprising Story

And one from the "Way Back Machine"...

There are some things I thought I would be ready for and some things I had no idea that I wasn't ready for. In the last week we have spoken with two people who said things to us that completely surprised us...knocked us on our proverbial heels. There is so much more to the stories than I will share here, but here is the highlight. (Ask me and I will love to tell you more!):

At the playground with S.:

A week ago today we decided to make it a special day and meet at the playground for lunch. I didn't realize that people could be outside at the park on a beautiful day and eat lunch. I looked around wondering if I was doing something wrong and if i was about to get caught.

We have asked the Lord to send our way someone we had met at the playground before and He decided to answer this day. S [not his full name :)] was there with his two girls, one of which is my daughter's age. After a short time, we started to talk about the things that mattered most to us- our view of the meaning of the world and human existence. S is a very intelligent and thought-full man whose ideas on why were are here are sophisticated even if they would be seen as unorthodox even for around here.

After a significant amount of time where he shared the narrative of his view of life, I asked if I could share an alternate view- very briefly. Genesis One is more than an account of how our God created the world with the power of his voice, it was also written to share an alternate (and true) account of the dawn of an age where something existed in the universe apart from him (God) to a world that couldn't (and wouldn't) understand that.

I told S that the world was fashioned by an uncreated Creator (trying to get to Jesus and what his death and resurrection mean), but he had to stop me there. His face changed because he seemed to be confounded by a new thought. Interrupting me, he mirrored my words back to me: "An uncreated Creator? A Creator?!)

Then I was the one with the confounded look on my face. The realization of what was happening washed over me: S had never thought that the world might have been created by a personal Creator. In all his reading and searching and struggling, he had never once thought that the universe might have been designed by a God who is a person. My assumption was that he had heard the "alternate story" of how the earth was created and rejected it. I was wrong: never once had it entered his mind.

We did eventually get to the meaning of the cross and resurrection. I did get to finish (most of) the Grand Story. As we were leaving, he said he wanted to get together again and talk...but he needed some time to process what we talked about. I look forward to meeting with my friend again. Who knows how we will both be surprised next time.

"Be Still My Soul"

[One of my favorites. Today I needed to remember the very first line.]

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

The Village at Magnolia

The last two Saturdays I have spent some time with a person from the Chamber of Commerce in our neighborhood, asking about the future of the main business district we call The Village.

They are running a campaign to ask people who are interested to be involved with the planning of the future of the Village. The main question they are asking is "What would you like to see?"

Today, I spoke with Greg C. for about 20 minutes. When he asked me what I do he was a little confused at why I would pay so close attention to what the Chamber is proposing. Though I missed the opportunity today, next time I will tell them that one of our values is that we as the Church want to see the flourishing of our city. (see: "peace" or shalom in Jeremiah 29:7... and the context of the verse)

That is where I need help. I would like to see if anyone would be willing to look at what is already written and give feedback. The picture below is of a banner in which people fill out stickers for their vision of the Village and place the stickers on the banner for others to see.

• What do you see about the people who have written their vision?
• What is your first impression about what is written? Why?
• How would you suggest we involve ourselves in helping shape the vision in order to be for the flourishing of the people of Magnolia?

The only real flourishing of a group of people in a city is if they have a flourishing relationship with Jesus. That is the real reason I ask.

I would appreciate any feedback that you might have. Thanks!

The Spirit Goes Before Us

I share this portion of Hudson Taylor's life because when I read this I needed to be reminded that the Spirit is at work in people's lives even if I am not faithful to pray or to seek them out.

He goes before us:

     "Last week I [Hudson Taylor] was at Taiping. My heart was greatly moved by the crowds that literally filled the streets for two or three miles, so that we could hardly walk, for it was market day. We did but little preaching, for we were looking for a place for permanent work, but I was contained to retire to the city wall and cry to God to have mercy on the people, to open their hearts and give us entrance among them. [emphasis mine]
     Without any seeking on our part, we were brought into touch with at least four anxious souls. An old man found us out, I know not how, and followed me to our boat. I asked him in and inquired his name.
     'My name is Dzing,' he replied. 'But the question which distresses me, and to which I can find no answer, is- What am I to do with my sins? Our scholars tell us that there is no future state, but I find it hard to believe them... Oh, sir, I lie on my bed and think. I sit alone in the daytime and think. I think and think and think again, but I cannot tell what is to be done about my sins. I am seventy-two years of age. I cannot expect to finish another decade. "Today knows not tomorrow's lot," as the saying is. Can you tell me what to do with my sins?'
     'I can indeed,' Was my reply. "It is to answer this very question that we have come so many thousands of miles. Listen, and I will explain to you what you want and need to know.'
     When my companions returned, he heard again the wonderful story of the Cross, and left us soothe and comforted... glad to know that we had rented a house and hoped soon to have Christian colporteurs resident in the city."

Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, pgs 194-195

May we be a people who are so surrendered to the Spirit that people are attracted to Jesus in us even if we have not yet said a word!

For Your Name's Sake

Father,

Until now I believe we have asked you only to do those things that we can handle in our own.

I am afraid to be overwhelmed in thinking that I have to carry the burden of all that you might do in your love.

Please give us a vision of what you want to do that is so great that it is too much for us! But also, please give us the grace to be able to trust you with the moment by moment of it. For your name's sake.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6-7 ESV)

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. (Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV)

"Why the City?"

Why the city?

Not because it is trendy. I have never been accused of being trendy. I couldn’t be if I tried. Living in the city is a badge of honor for some because they feel like they are on the razor’s edge of changing culture. It is better to be on the rising of the tsunami rather than be one one watching it barreling your direction.

The picture is big to squash the paragraphs. Creates tension. Its "city reading."

Being part of the city can’t be my identity.

It isn’t because it is comfortable. Being in such close proximity to people all of the time is not anything that I thought I would ever choose to do. I like my space. I want people to get out of my way. No, we definitely don’t seek comfort or convenience in the city. Give me wide open spaces where people cannot see how goofy I can be around them. When you are close to others (in every way) its SO much easier to see imperfections. It is much simpler to not have to live with all of the brokenness of people around me as a constant reminder of my own.

A large reason of why we want to live in and love the people of the city is found in what Steven Um and Justin Blizzard write in their book “Why Cities Matter”:

“Cities are built upon the things from which humanity attempts to derive its ultimate significance. Whether centered around a mosque or a financial district, a cathedral or an entertainment sector, all cities are built in honor of and pay homage to some type of a 'god’…Its not if you’re worshipping; its what you’re worshipping. In the same way, it’s not a question of whether cities are centers of worship-cities have always been built around things that their inhabitants see as holding cosmic significance- it’s a question of what a city is worshipping.” (pg 32)

All people are worshippers. When we get together no matter how hard we try to hide it we will worship together. It may be trying to one up each other on an accomplishment at school or a promotion at work. It may be driving slowly down the obnoxious neighbor’s street in order for them to turn green with envy over your bright, new (red) sports car. It may be a humble gathering of those who treasure Jesus. One way or another, we are worshipping right now.

Our city will take on the character of what we worship. If it is the ancient God Mammon, we will erect statutes of the Dollar Almighty. If it is the Eternal God, we won’t waste time with statutes to depict His image, but the character of our lives will overflow his image in ways we don’t even know (and could never fully plan for).

We live in the city and love the city because people are in the city. Myraids of worshippers who ascribe meaning to myraids of lesser treasures. We live in the city so that our little image will reflect Jesus’ greater image in order that people will treasure that Image.

I just wish we still had a big backyard.

Now while Paul was waiting for them at Athens, his spirit was provoked within him as he saw that the city was full of idols. So he reasoned in the synagogue with the Jews and the devout persons, and in the marketplace every day with those who happened to be there. (Acts 17:16-17 ESV)

L and A

The last few days have been weighing on me. Between culture shock and trying to live up to some expectations (without success), I have been discouraged. Though we have only been here 4 weeks, I feel like I should be "producing." There have been many times when Adrienne and I (mostly me) had to confess that our identity is not in how we perform, but who we are in Christ. We want to be faithful, even if faithful is not successful in everyone's eyes.

This morning, waking up feeling anxious and trapped, I turned to Psalm 145 and read this:

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness. They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness. (Psalm 145:4-7 ESV)

My discouragement came from the fact that I felt pressure to meet people and share the gospel... pressure to perform and create meetings and not simply trust the Spirit to "put people in our path." I wanted more than just sharing facts about the cross and resurrection of Jesus, but to really connect with people and get to share the heart of the cross and resurrection. 

Adrienne challenged me to praise the Lord. Simply declare his greatness and his awesome deeds. So, today, I put that in to practice.

We also spent time this morning asking the Spirit to put people in our path that we could share his greatness with. I was a little afraid to do it because I didn't think I would have any words...at least words that meant anything. This is how he answered [names are changed to protect them from being associated with us :)]

L-

I was late to a meeting with a new friend and trying to rush out when our next door neighbor  greeted me with arms full of groceries. That's a big deal since she has been standoffish since the first day we met and told her what we are doing here. Hey, she asked so we told her. Her response was, "That's interesting."  Not the "I want to know more" kind of interesting, but the "you are starting a cult" type of interesting. 

Not only did she greet me but she began to ask questions. She asked "when do you start services here" (pointing to our side of the duplex). I got to clearly tell her that we aren't going to have shipments of Kool-Aid delivered and the women won't all start wearing denim skirts. I got to tell her that what is important is that people get to see and trust Jesus. That is what we want. That is why we are here. 

After the obligatory "what do you think about gay people" talk, we go to get to the heart of it: sin, grace, the cross. She kept standing outside with me, groceries in hand, asking questions and discussing the gospel with me. I wanted to do a backflip. I can't, but I wanted to.

I got to experience the grace of God in speaking the truth in love to my neighbor. She got to hear that sin is a big deal, but the grace of God is a bigger deal. It was beautiful.

A-

We just got home from the playground close to our house. My little girl is getting a bath and I am trying to remember what happened 20 minutes ago. Adrienne told me to write this down so that I would remember when discouragement knock at the door of my heart again.

We try to go to the playground every evening. It is almost too close not to go and, also, we always meet someone to talk to. We just don't see the same people twice.

Tonight we started a conversation with a New York transplant who has been here a year. She told us she was here to be with her grandson, A___. After we told here we have been here 4 and a half, no, FIVE weeks now, she asked why we were here. So we told her. She didn't run away. Actually, she started to ask us questions.

Long story short, we got to share with her the greatness of God and his works. We think she is a believer...she knows the right terminology and some of the stories. It was a sweet time of just being able to say- out loud - that Jesus Christ is Lord. (That feels so defiant here sometimes).

Then, she told us more about her grandson and why she is here for him. His dad (her son) abandoned him. The grandson lives with his mom, but his dad took off. "A" is brokenhearted about it. With tears in her eyes she told us the entire story and we grieved with her. She painted a picture of her desire for her grandson to know God and all that she does in order to picture Jesus for him. 

So, we prayed with her. On the playground. We cried out to the Lord together that He would bring her son to his senses and that He would be perfect Father to this 3 year old. We believed together that the Father is still in the business of working miracles. We all had an underlying joy in our little bit of faith that the Father's love and power is greater than our faith.

She has our contact information and she says she wanted to meet with us when we start meeting together as the church during the summer. One way or another, the Spirit met with us by the swings tonight.

Tomorrow is another day, but today we are overwhelmed in knowing that the Lord still wants to show his greatness. he wants to show himself so that we will meditate on him and overflow with praise to people whose hearts long for it. All of us long to know him that way. Most of the world turns their backs, but they still long to know an unimaginable greatness that swallows up our weak desires and gives us bigger hearts.

I am so grateful that today we got to express his greatness. I long for more.

Prayer for Tears

Father, I simply ask that you will give us your heart for the lost.

Please give us your tears. Please give us your feelings over sin.

Please display your unquenchable grace. Please write your word on the hearts of those who reject you.

Please give us heaven's joy over the returning of one lost son. 

Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.
(Psalm 126:5-6 ESV)

Walking while Waiting

Hudson Taylor from "Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret" (pg. 187)

"It is no small comfort to me to know that God has called me to my work, putting me where I am and as I am. I have not sought the position and I dare not leave it. He knows why he places me here- whether to do, or learn, or suffer. 'He that believeth shall not make haste.' That is no easy lesson for you or me; but I honestly think that ten years would be well spent, and we should have our full value for them, if we thoroughly learned it in them...Moses seems to have been taken aside for forty years to learn it.... Meanwhile, let us beware alike of the hate of the impatient, impetuous flesh, and of disappointment and weariness."

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!
(Psalm 27:13-14 ESV)