Baby Crabs, Boulders and Jesus' Compassion

"Hiding" Might Not Be the Right Word

Last Sunday, I took some time to go down to a rocky beach close to our house and do some preparation for preaching tomorrow. I was amazingly distracted by the view of the Sound and the over large cruise ships that seems to glide past me.

Then I noticed something at my feet. The ground between the rocks seemed to scurry. Since everyone who is anyone knows the ground doesn't scurry, I had to look closer. Under every rock that I picked up was a little crab not even an inch in diameter. There seemed to be, literally, tiny crabs everywhere on the beach.

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Matthew 9:35-38 ESV)

In light of why we moved our lives to Seattle, I have a question that constantly grabs my heart's attention: If the harvest is plentiful, then why does it seem so hard to find people who are, for lack of a better way to say it, ripe?

The picture that Jesus paints is not one of anxious, desperate pleading for people to come do a job, but of a real need of workers because the harvest is ready to produce. The wheat or grapes or figs are ready and waiting for someone to come grab them and it will take more workers than those who are normally in the field to harvest all of it.

So, he tells us to pray. I like that and I will pray, but...

My trouble is that the text (the Lord!) says the harvest is plentiful, but it seems like its not the workers who are few but the harvest. Right now it feels like I have to turn over a lot of rocks. The text makes it sound like every rock one overturns will produce a scampering crab. At least now, it seems like (even if the crabs are there) the rocks are boulders.

Am I reading this text rightly? I long to see Jesus express his compassion by opening the eyes of the people we are around that he is the shepherd they are longing for and didn't even know it. We long for  them to see Jesus more than I can express.

What I know now is to pray. We will pray. Maybe he will raise up compassionate workers for his harvest from his harvest. Isn't that what he always does?

Being an Introvert is a gift...

...not a curse.

But with every gift, we can be selfish with it.

Here is a good, short article on introverts in the church:

https://ftc.gospel.io/resource-library/blog-entries/introverts-in-the-dearest-place-on-earth

Here is a good book, if you want to dig in deeper. I do not agree with everything he says or the reasoning behind it, but it was encouraging to see an introvert's role with God's people:

Introverts in the Church

A Promise to Redefine Us

"If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. 

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you." (John 15: 18-19)

The most authentically loving person who ever walked among people was hated. There was something so "different" about his character that people either loved him or hated him.

Jesus has given to us his own nature... his ability to love people who did not love him.

Those who love everything in the world that is contrary to Jesus' nature ( "of the world") miss the beauty and fullness of who he is. He is a threat. They do not understand him...or those of us becoming like him.

And what we misunderstand, we often despise.

Somehow, to be full of a Christ-like, cross-defined love means we will be hated. I do not want to be hated, but I do want to be full of Jesus' life. I don't want to try to make people hate me to prove I am like Jesus.

But, I want the joy and fullness of being like Jesus.

And, because I can...

Promise to Walk With

"But now thus says the LORD,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
'Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you...'"

Isaiah 43: 1-2

The Secret Giver

It is as if He wants to keep it quiet to everyone but the soul who needs to know him. 

Monday of last week was the hardest day we have had in our new home so far. Adrienne and I were both frustrated and didn’t know how to communicate with each other with our (my) words sounding “like darts.” Our little girl caught on to our frustration and acted out most of the day in response to us.

There were a lot of reasons why, but the main reason is we found out we would have to wait longer for our income to get to us…and bills were coming due quickly.

When it came down to it, we were both afraid and tried and secretly asking the Father in our hearts “why is it this hard?!” and “have you left us alone in this?”

We know the right answers but sometimes our hearts wander into the wilderness driven by fear. The Spirit let us stay in that wilderness for as long as he thought best.

On Tuesday, after more frustration, I sent out a text message to a group and asked them to pray for us. To pray that we would see the Father’s faithfulness with our hearts. They graciously agreed to and gave wise counsel.

I got back to our house from meeting some people and found a letter from people we hardly know. In this letter was a very unexpected gift- they had written us a check because the Lord had put us on their hearts. Completely unlooked for. They have never done anything like this before. 

My words here do not express what the Father did in my heart. We have to pay our bills so the money is gratefully appreciated, but what matters more is that the Father showed us that we were wrong…he had not left us to fend for ourselves.

But he didn’t announce to the world that he is a Giver. He simply announced it to us. He announced it to us in a way that spoke to the secret doubts in our hearts.

But, because he is answering our heart questions I want to share with whoever listen that sometimes the Father provides in secret in order to speak to our secrets.

Eventually though, everything the Father does in secret will be shown in the lives of those who are learning to trust him.

Chic-uh-fay

I felt a sense of shame this evening that I guess I shouldn't even write about. We went to a place that we probably should not have gone. So many have warned us of it. I guess I am more of a wanderer than I believe myself to be.

Please do not hold it against us.

We met some new friends, [redacted] and [redacted] [redacted], over the last couple of days and, in a weak moment, they led us astray. We were hungry for some "old ways" and the allure of past history- things we should have repented of as we drove away from our former way of life.

Again, please do not hold it against us. It won't happen again...at least for a while.

A Promise to Treasure

 A needed reminder today from a dear friend:

"And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:19

[Paul (by the Spirit) said this to the people who he loved who were concerned about how he was being provided for. Not only did the Spirit make Paul confident that the Father would provide for him, but also for those he loved. Even more than that, Paul was confident that all involved would rest in the truth that the Father is "rich" and a giver. He doesn't hold back to his children.]

(Thanks J.)

The Words I Wish I Had

Sometimes I need words. These are the words I wish I had to write down because it is exactly how Adrienne and I feel right now. His past tense is our present tense. This is a lot, but it is worth reading...because I know we aren't the only ones who need these words:

From Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret:

     "Well...my mind has been greatly exercised for six to eight months past, feeling the need personally and for our Mission of more holiness, life and power in our souls. But personal need stood first and was the greatest. I felt the ingratitude, the danger, the sin of not living nearer to God. I prayed, agonized, fasted, strove, made resolutions, read the Word more diligently, sought more time for meditation- but all without avail. Everyday, almost every hour, the consciousness of sin oppressed me.
     I knew that if only I could abide in Christ all would be well, but I could not. I would be gin the day with prayer, determined not to take my eye off him for a moment, but the pressure of duties, sometimes often very trying, and constant interruptions apt to be so wearying, caused me to forget him...
     Then came the question, is there no rescue? Must it be thus  to the end- constant conflict, and too often defeat? How could I preach with sincerity that, to those who receive Jesus, 'to them he gave the power to become the sons of God' (i.e. Godlike) when it was not so in my experience?...I felt i was a child of God. His Spirit in my heart would cry, in spite of all, 'Abba, Father.' But to rise to my privileges as a child, I was utterly powerless.
     ...There was nothing I so much desired as holiness, nothing I so much needed; but far from in any measure attaining it, the more I strove after it, the more it alluded my grasp, until hope itself almost died out, and I began to think that- perhaps to make heaven the sweeter- God would not give it down here...
     I would not give you the impression that this was the only experience of those long, weary months. It was a too frequent state of soul, and that towards which I was tending, which almost ended in despair. And yet, never did Christ seem more precious; a Saviour who could and would save such a sinner!...And sometimes there were seasons not only of peace but of joy in the Lord; but they were transitory, and at best there was a sad lack of power...
     All the time I felt assured that there was in Christ all I needed, but the practical questions was- how to get it out. He was rich truly, but I was poor; He was strong, but I weak. I knew full well that there was in the root, the stem, abundant fatness, but how to get it into my puny branch was the question. As gradually light dawned, I saw that faith was the only requisite-was the hand to lay hold on His fullness and make it mine. But I had not this faith." [Bolding is my emphasis]

The truth I cling to now:
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20 ESV)

Well, That's Differnt

I meant to spell it that way.

When I see something that is culturally shocking about our new area in Seattle, I will share it on this blog. I promise nothing will be rated anything but G or PG.

Today, I passed by two inner city, outside basketball courts. That isn't shocking. What is shocking is that it was full of pasty white guys who dribbled like Stanley from the Office season 1.

See Stanley's dribbling artistry here

Culture Shock: I Have to Laugh Because I Can't Cry Today

I Get It

This afternoon we will get to talk to some friends who have moved their life to a different country, a different lifestyle and a different language. They are just a little bit crazy, but I love that about them.  Their adjustment has been hard and we haven't talked to them as much as I wish we could have. Even through their emails, we can hear the alienation they feel being a minority after being in the majority all of their lives.

Culture shock is not medical diagnosis, but it is a real experience. I know, because our family is feeling it...and we didn't have to cross national borders. (Frankly, I feel guilty even admitting it because I still have access to a Chipotle and Dr. Pepper.)

I did some research on the sometimes unnoticed effects of crossing cultures and found some common responses:

• Feelings of anger over minor inconveniences
• Extreme homesickness
• Withdrawal from people who are different from you
• A new and intense feeling of loyalty to your own culture
• An increase or loss of appetite
• Sleep difficulties (both too much and not enough)
• Headaches
• Feeling sick much of the time
• Loss of ability to work effectively; difficulty concentrating
• Unexplainable fits of crying 
• Marital stress
• Exaggerated cleanliness and an excessive desire to control surroundings
• Depression

I think this scientific graph tells it all:

[Seriously, here is a really good article if you are interested in reading more: http://www.worldwide.edu/travel_planner/culture_shock.html ]

Everyday, I am making an effort to be where the people of my neighborhood are working, playing, and being together. In the conversations we have had and the eavesdropping cultural exploration I do, we have noticed something: we are not in Texas anymore. We have a Seattle address, but "y'all" comes out more than I expect and my desire for my own space is constantly squelched by how everything seems pushed together...too close. People are everywhere!

Actual Picture from Our Street

Being in Seattle is not just obedience, but it is a joyful desire. That doesn't mean that I don't say "what in the world are we doing" 2-3 times a day. That doesn't mean that we are comfortable. We have a deep sense of a thirsty homesickness that wouldn't be quenched by going back to Texas.

I have felt this culture shock for over two years. It wasn't until we started waking up to the sights and sounds that Seattlities wake up to that I realized that we have been becoming Seattleites for a long time. Looking back, I am grateful for the Spirit leading us that way. If he hadn't, my wife wouldn't be able to stand me right now.

Then, there is an even more profound "culture shock" that every believer lives everyday. Those who are Jesus' are not the majority culture. We never have been. We most likely never will be. We have a different "heart language." We have different cultural values. Even though we may, at times, love money or love the "broad way" (Matt 7:13) our identity is transformed. We have been transformed to be aliens and strangers in a world bent away from God and we have been made delight in this kingdom that the Father is bringing.

The tension comes from the truth that we have a place to live, but it isn't our heart's true home.

Until we are home, we will never be at ease. If our hearts have been made alive to long for our real home, doesn't it follow that we will live with culture shock until the day Jesus comes again and takes us to himself?

Read that list of effects of culture shock above again.

To wrap this up, three quotes come to mind that help me with both the shock of being a stranger in Seattle and being an alien in this world:

1. "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." (John 14: 3) [Jesus wants us to dwell with him...he is working at it right now!]

2. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father or mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we are comforted by God. " (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

3. "Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water…If I find in myself a desire, which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis

Hudson Taylor and the Shepherd of His Soul

In a letter to his children, Hudson Taylor wrote:

"I wish you, my precious children, knew what it was to give your hearts to Jesus to keep everyday. I used to try to keep my own heart right, but it would always be going wrong. So at last I had to give up trying myself, and to accept the Lord's offer to keep it for me. Don't you think that is the best way?"

-Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, page 178

For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls. (1 Peter 2:25)

That's Me in the Corner, That's Me in the Spot...Light

To get some work done this morning, I rode by bike to a local coffee shop. It has been my office over the last two weeks because we just got internet access at the house. It is also a good excuse to people watch with the hope that I can see what the Father is doing in the people of our area.

I did something that felt really foolish. I even started to sweat a little because it felt like I committed a public and cultural faux pas: I opened my Bible at the table to write about Matthew 9. All of a sudden it seemed that all of the air in the room was sucked out by the collective gasping and that the spotlight was on me. The spotlight makes me sweat. I don't like to sweat for that reason.

Of course that is not how is actually was, but the two ladies sitting with me at our shared table did notice...but didn't let on. Their conversation up until that point was about what power moms talk about: science projects, how to juggle the things they are involved in at their kid's school, what programs to put their children in his summer in order to better them, and how to manage the chaos of renovating a home.

The pace of their conversation was feverish to the point that I was getting out of breath. Well, not really, but I was amazed that they had enough breath to keep up with one another. As soon as they

recognized that a Bible came out, though, there was a brief, but noticeable pause. The conversation changed to talk about how to handle in-law's expectations about religion and how they want kids to be able to think about their worldview for themselves.

They sounded religious. They sounded as if they wanted their kids to be better for being religious.

They are strivers and striving to have a better life is a sacred, Western cultural value. There aren't any sculpted statues that extoll "striving" but there are the little lives that are being shaped everyday to be "strivers" like their parents. Smaller images reflecting the values that mom and dad aspire to.

I saw it clearly, because I live that so dearly. I am fearful of losing my (striving) religion.

The reason why people do not treasure the gospel of the cross is not that people have to give up specific sins. We give up specific sins all of the time in order to be accepted in our own eyes and in the eyes of society. The problem is giving up THE sin, the sin that defines and motivates us: "I made myself somebody!"

The desire of the flesh is to be able to stand on top of the world and say "I am somebody because I got myself here!" It shows itself in many ways, but mostly it shows itself in not wanting to hear the truth that we are really helpless. The gospel does not make sense to many because it does not reflect sacred cultural values. We do not have categories for it.

As I sit here and type those two ladies have gone on to try to conquer life's chaos. I am still writing this because I am asking the question, how do I communicate a message of Christ's weakness actually being real strength? How do I communicate to people that real life is found, not in striving to be the best "me" I can be through any kind of religion, but in being foolish with the King of Fools?

How can people who religiously strive to be somebody ever let go and see that Jesus is all the Somebody we need?

Spirit, 
We try to live as if we can work hard enough that you might owe us something, be in our debt. I want to earn things, demand things from you. I want to be entitled to good things. But, will you please show us another way? Will you please open the eyes of those who are blinded by self-promotion and show them something radically different? I do not have the words to show them what you have shown me. Will you please do miracles in the lives of the people we are around? Please write the gospel so deeply on our hearts that we cannot help but share what we have seen an heard of you.

Upside Down in the Kingdom

This is wordy, but it is worth digging into:

"...the immanent world [the only thing that matters is what we can see] is the world of the practical. With a religious vision off of the agenda, the worlds of finance, education, and work come to the fore. There is no hope in the eternal, the kingdom of God will not break out on earth, so we better  get to work creating an immanent version while we can, one that does not require God's hand. Instead the secular version of shalom will be delivered by good organization, effective government, sound economic policy, and effective medicine and scientific advancement.. the citizen of an immanent culture must play their part by doing their duties. They must punch a clock, be a good worker. They must not indulge in the antisocial behavior which could threaten the secular well-being of the collective. [emphasis mine]"

Mark Sayers, The Road Trip that Changed the World, pages 119-120

In other words, if a person believes that all that there is in the world is what we can see (God isn't there or isn't involved, then we gotsta get on with creating a good society that survives without God. Anyone who doesn't get along with the program to help humanity anti-social at best, and most likely, a threat.

If a society believes they can create a just and equitable world without God's justice and equality, then asking for God's kingdom to come (and acting if it will) is getting in the way.

A Promise to Thirst With

John 7:37-38:

On the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. He who believes in me, as the scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.”

Hudson Taylor, in a letter to a friend:

“‘Come to me and drink’. Not, come and take a hasty draught; not, come and slightly alleviate, or for a short time remove one’s thirst. No! ‘drink,’ or ‘be drinking’ constantly, habitually. The cause of thirst may be irremediable. One coming, one drinking may refresh and comfort: but we are to be ever coming, ever drinking. No fear of emptying the fountain or exhausting the river!"

The Mountains are Still There

Today is the first day in a few days that I cannot stop and gawk at Mr. Rainier. There are times when people have asked “Is that it?” unsure if what they are seeing is The Mountain or not. But, when you look South through the Seattle skyline and actually see The Mountain, you know that it is “it.”

This morning, the clouds that typically slowly crawl over the horizon are hiding the mountains. The marvels of sculpted granite sprinkled with snow are somewhere behind the rain.

Somewhere hidden from my sight.

I long to see the beauty behind the clouds. There is a comfort in seeing them, feeling small in compared to them. There is a sense of being put in my rightful place and, not only being okay with that, but longing for it.

But, today, I will not see them. I will have to remember that they are immovable. I will have to hold on to the truth my eyes have seen in the past: they are not going anywhere. It is in their very nature to not go anywhere.

There are days that I will simply have to remember the truth that the mountains do not go away because I cannot see them… and wait for the time when the clouds part and I can see again the Beauty that is hidden behind the storms.

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen…By faith [Moses] left Egypt, not being afraid of the anger of the king, for he endured as seeing him who is invisible.” Hebrews 11: 1, 27

Unafraidness

Jesus wasn’t ever afraid to express the way he was affected by people and his circumstances. He wasn’t ever afraid.

Thursday of this week was our last day traveling to Seattle and our first day arriving. My emotions were at times boiling over with fear and frustration and other times bottled up behind fear of who I know I can be when those emotions take over.

So, after 2200 miles plus driving, a week of being in different beds while longing for our own, missing heart friends and seeing only unfamiliar faces, and looking forward to an unknown (and often scary) future, I almost broke down completely at Palouse Falls State Park in Washington.

I am with my favorite people in the world in some of the most beautiful places in the world and I am emotionally stunted, frustrated and not present. The reflected Beauty of the falls can’t move my immovable heart. My wife and daughter pick up on how I am feeling and decide just to let me be so I don’t overreact towards them.

The hardest thing of all: I am completely aware of all of this. I am completely aware of my sinful self-absorption and how my faith-drained thoughts are fueling my emotional disconnectedness.

These are not my finest moments.

On my mind the entire time is Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

If I am “crucified with Christ” and “Christ lives in me” then why am I still a man who can get to this place?  Where is his power not to live this way? Where is his power not to be afraid and, even better, to live in Jesus’ unafraidness?

I guess you call that “faith.” Unafriadness is called faith.

Somehwere between Palouse Falls and the Columbia River on I-90, considering these precious words from Paul’s letter, the Spirit took me to the heart of it: I know how much we need the Father to come through in so many ways, but I do not always believe he will come through. Desperation with out the feeling of hope.

I turned to my sweet wife and shared these things with her and, for the first time in too long, I started to cry. Not the kind that makes our faces look different the rest of the day, but the kind that helps me express the deepest part of what I am feeling: I want to live trusting Jesus.

The kind of trust that sees the deep need in front of us and rests in knowing that, if the Father didn’t spare his Son, how will he hold back anything else that is good? (see Rom 8:31-32)

What if I could stop striving (especially on the inside) and willfully let go and hold on to the One who made promises to us because of who we are in Christ?

What if the crucified life is not even a life of trying to stir up preciously small amounts of faith, but living out Jesus’ very own faith?

As missionary to inland China, Hudson Taylor once wrote to his sister:

“All the time I felt assured that there was in Christ all I needed, but the practical question was-how do I get it out…I knew full well that there was in the root, the stem, abundant fatness, but how to get it in my puny branch was the question…I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I’ll strive no more. For has not He promised to abide with me- never to leave me, never to fail me?”

Jesus was never afraid to express himself because he knew, not that he had it altogether (which he did, but that’s another story), but because he knew the Father was with him. He trusted the Father by the Spirit to shape his responses to people and to circumstances.

He knew he wasn’t alone in engaging the world and loving people. 

So my heart question is “what would our lives look like if we lived Jesus’ faith and didn’t rely on our own?” How would we feel waking up and what would we see in people as we passed them on the street? How would my words be more gentle…or more confrontative?

I want the kind of life where I no longer live, but I know Christ lives in me…and can rest in that. Where all of life is rest, and that is where my Savior shows his glory in ways that make us all marvel.

Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret

I never want to exalt the life of one person in a way that seems to draw our attention away from all that Jesus is and all he is for us, but sometimes, I do want to draw attention to how the Spirit has worked in the life of someone else to encourage us that He is still working and not merely confined to the pages and time of scripture.

 (How amazing it would be if I actually fully trusted that precious truth!!)

So, with that being said, I want to share what I have read about the life of J. Hudson Taylor, child of the Father, husband, father and missionary to the inland China in the 19th century. His life is portrayed in the book his son and daughter-in-law wrote about him called Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret.

From the Introduction by Doctor Doctor Terry L. Miethe (two PhD.s):

“But Hudson Taylor did not start out to impact ‘millions.’ He started out to love God, to honor Him, and to share His love with individual sinners who needed so desperately to know Him.  Jesus called Taylor (and us) to be ‘faithful,’ not 'successful.’ And God added the increase. So shall it be with us, I pray."

J. Hudson Taylor

The Gospel in Techland

I have a request, but first let me tell a brief story:

Taking my daughter to the playground last night, I overheard two men about my age talking about their jobs which consisted of creating and marketing new websites.

What I noticed in listening (snooping) is that they were primarily concerned with making money and making a name for themselves, not providing a service or some other altruistic motive.

Not that I would just jump in their conversation, but I would like to be able to talk tech with them in an intelligent way. To ask good questions that lead to meaningful things.

So, here is what I ask of you: how does the gospel relate to technology?

How do people try to find an identity in that world?
How do people look for some sort of salvation in that world?
What would be "heaven?"
What would be "hell" to them?

Technology can be an idol just like anything else. It can be a strong idol one in the culture I live in.

I am not asking you to answer all of these questions. They are just meant to help us think.

If you are willing to give it a shot, please comment below. I would love to hear what you think.

Thanks!

All Roads Lead

In all of human history (though I can’t prove it because my history is so short) people have been beckoned to the road. There is something written into our soul’s DNA that makes us long to go somewhere- somewhere else. There will be people who won’t actually go somewhere else, but they will  still long for it and find some mild satisfaction in reading adventure stories, watching the Amazing Race, or getting excited about a postcard from the crazy friend who went backpacking through Asia.

One way or another, we all want to go.

Our small tribe stopped about an hour into Oregon in Baker City to check out the Oregon Trail museum. For a guy who loved playing the Oregon Trail on the Apple IIe in elementary school, this was kind of a dream come true. It was thinking about those long-suffering travelers who walked in the footsteps pf Lewis and Clark’s expedition to explore the Oregon Territory that drove me to read all I could about the Oregon Trail in National Geographics and library books. 

While others were outside playing and learning to interact with humans, I was reading about long-dead people whose lives expressed a primal longing to leave what was familiar and go to what was seen as a Promised Land. They weren’t looking for milk and honey, but gold and 640 acres of land would suffice.

This is what is on my mind as we went to the museum that rested on a large hill next to- get this- a main artery of the Oregon Trail! We got to not only learn about these intrepid pioneers, but we actually got to walk where they walked. Our feet walked in the ruts left by teams of oxen and young families chasing their dream.

They didn’t know where they were going, but they were compelled to get there.

The similarities of their trek and our was not lost on us. Neither were the differences. The deep reasons why we are traveling and why they traveled may have been different in some substantial ways, but one thing is the same: we can’t not go. Our souls’ desire is always out there somewhere.

And even when we find it, we still want to walk the path deeper into it.

I could make reference to Abraham leaving home and going where the LORD sent him. Talking about that faith would fit. I could make reference to Moses, too, who kept leaving his home (once by necessity, the other by calling) in order to do what he was compelled to do by faith. Ultimately, I could reference Jesus who sojourned among us, leaving his riches in glory to be marginalized by those who borrow power from him.

But, what comes to mind the most is Psalm 16:11. Adrienne read Psalm 16 to us in the car as we drove and I needed to be reminded of it. Our deepest primal longing is not to see where the grass might actually be greener, but to the source of the desire to see green grass. Somehow, at the end of all of our longings is not soft St. Augustine under our feet, or acres of land in our name, but The Way before our faces:

“You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Psalm 16:11

I risked dying of video game dysentary as a 5th grader because, somehow, I longed for traveling a path that brings life. Now, I am learning, that it isn’t as much about going (as important as that can be) as much as it is knowing the One who put the wanderlust in my heart that can only be satisfied by him.

Promise to fight with

From Jason T.:

Psalm 116:5-7

“Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; 

our God is merciful.

The LORD preserves the simple;

when I was brought low, he saved me.

Return, O My Soul, to your rest;

for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you."