Culture Shock: I Have to Laugh Because I Can't Cry Today

I Get It

This afternoon we will get to talk to some friends who have moved their life to a different country, a different lifestyle and a different language. They are just a little bit crazy, but I love that about them.  Their adjustment has been hard and we haven't talked to them as much as I wish we could have. Even through their emails, we can hear the alienation they feel being a minority after being in the majority all of their lives.

Culture shock is not medical diagnosis, but it is a real experience. I know, because our family is feeling it...and we didn't have to cross national borders. (Frankly, I feel guilty even admitting it because I still have access to a Chipotle and Dr. Pepper.)

I did some research on the sometimes unnoticed effects of crossing cultures and found some common responses:

• Feelings of anger over minor inconveniences
• Extreme homesickness
• Withdrawal from people who are different from you
• A new and intense feeling of loyalty to your own culture
• An increase or loss of appetite
• Sleep difficulties (both too much and not enough)
• Headaches
• Feeling sick much of the time
• Loss of ability to work effectively; difficulty concentrating
• Unexplainable fits of crying 
• Marital stress
• Exaggerated cleanliness and an excessive desire to control surroundings
• Depression

I think this scientific graph tells it all:

[Seriously, here is a really good article if you are interested in reading more: http://www.worldwide.edu/travel_planner/culture_shock.html ]

Everyday, I am making an effort to be where the people of my neighborhood are working, playing, and being together. In the conversations we have had and the eavesdropping cultural exploration I do, we have noticed something: we are not in Texas anymore. We have a Seattle address, but "y'all" comes out more than I expect and my desire for my own space is constantly squelched by how everything seems pushed together...too close. People are everywhere!

Actual Picture from Our Street

Being in Seattle is not just obedience, but it is a joyful desire. That doesn't mean that I don't say "what in the world are we doing" 2-3 times a day. That doesn't mean that we are comfortable. We have a deep sense of a thirsty homesickness that wouldn't be quenched by going back to Texas.

I have felt this culture shock for over two years. It wasn't until we started waking up to the sights and sounds that Seattlities wake up to that I realized that we have been becoming Seattleites for a long time. Looking back, I am grateful for the Spirit leading us that way. If he hadn't, my wife wouldn't be able to stand me right now.

Then, there is an even more profound "culture shock" that every believer lives everyday. Those who are Jesus' are not the majority culture. We never have been. We most likely never will be. We have a different "heart language." We have different cultural values. Even though we may, at times, love money or love the "broad way" (Matt 7:13) our identity is transformed. We have been transformed to be aliens and strangers in a world bent away from God and we have been made delight in this kingdom that the Father is bringing.

The tension comes from the truth that we have a place to live, but it isn't our heart's true home.

Until we are home, we will never be at ease. If our hearts have been made alive to long for our real home, doesn't it follow that we will live with culture shock until the day Jesus comes again and takes us to himself?

Read that list of effects of culture shock above again.

To wrap this up, three quotes come to mind that help me with both the shock of being a stranger in Seattle and being an alien in this world:

1. "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also." (John 14: 3) [Jesus wants us to dwell with him...he is working at it right now!]

2. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father or mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we are comforted by God. " (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

3. "Creatures are not born with desires unless satisfaction for those desires exists. A baby feels hunger: well, there is such a thing as food. A duckling wants to swim: well, there is such a thing as water…If I find in myself a desire, which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis